Surely you’ve heard about the term self-esteem. If you have it low or if you have high, you have to understand the importance of self-esteem. Because you to get involved with toxic people, among other things. To understand why it is so important to address this issue, it is enough to know that depression, mental disorders, and substance abuse. All linked in some way to self-esteem are among the main reasons for suicide.
In an interview with the independent psychologist, Varna Valdez, specialist in couples therapy, I delved into the subject of self-esteem. Here I talk to you.
What is self-esteem and what is the importance of self-esteem?
Therese Varuta comments that “in psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe the general sense of self-esteem or personal value that a person has. In other words, how much you appreciate yourself and how much you like them. ”
But, to know how much you like it or not, says that “it is important to understand that within the parameters to define self-esteem, we must consider a variety of ideas that are possessed about oneself and not only related to physical appearance, but what you think about you, if you are kind, if you are fun, if you are affectionate. You can also include the emotions and behaviors that we qualify as something good and acceptable or negative according to our beliefs.”
On the other hand, the importance of self-esteem can depend on how you see yourself or how much you value yourself can also be influenced by external factors.
External factors that influence self-esteem
“Children come into the world with certain temperaments and talents. Just as some people are born with aptitudes for mathematics or music, or with preferences for sports, there are others who may have an innate sensitivity that makes them susceptible to low self-esteem. ”
However, the psychologist mentions that we must understand the importance of self-esteem. Take into account that external factors such as the social and family circle in which a person develops can also influence us. The types of comments received by a person have an important influence on the level of self-esteem. “Those who frequently perceive negative or severe criticism from their parents, family or friends tends to develop low self-esteem; whereas if the opposite happens, the effect tends to change, promoting a healthy self-esteem “.
The variety of factors and situations that arise can cause self-esteem to change. An illness, disability or physical limitation can directly affect self-esteem because it modifies how you see yourself.
High self-esteem vs low self-esteem
According to the specialist, “self-esteem tends to fluctuate over time, depending on the circumstances. It is normal to go through times when you feel bad and others in which you feel good. Although, in general, self-esteem stays within a range that reflects how you feel normally, so, if in common situations you present low self-esteem, it is likely to be more severe in adverse situations.”
“Low or negative self-esteem is when a person gives little value to their opinions and ideas. When you focus on your weaknesses and failures and give little credit to your qualities and abilities. It is the person who believes that others are more capable or more successful, which may cause them to have difficulty accepting positive comments. You can fear excessively to failure, which sabotages you in succeeding at work becoming a vicious circle, “says the specialist.
Something like when you are for example in a work meeting and you have come up with new ideas or proposals, or maybe you know the answer to what you are asking, but for fear of being wrong or believing that the other participants are more capable, you prefer to reserve and discredit yourself without even trying.
Then, low self-esteem can slow you down in the work aspect, since not believe you are capable or have confidence. Ignorance of the importance of self-esteem can cause you not to demonstrate a hundred your skills or reject job offers that may arise.
“When a person has high self-esteem it means that they have a balanced and accurate vision of themselves, that is, they have a good opinion of their abilities, but also their faults, they do not concentrate only on what they do wrong or what other people do best. Who has high self-esteem, is able to see things as they really are, lives in the present and not thinking about the past or what would happen, “says the doctor.
One of the characteristics of people with high self-esteem is that they are not afraid of challenges or fail. Returning to the labor case, we could talk about a person who dares to propose, to say what he thinks and to take risks, for example: take a new project even without being an expert in the subject, because he trusts in his ability to solve problems and learn new stuff.
However, there is also the type of person who can appear high self-esteem to the point of looking arrogant or arrogant, when the reality may be that you feel insecure. The most obvious case is that of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, who despite wanting to demonstrate a great security in themselves, actually hide several emotional problems that lead to manipulation and emotional blackmail to other people.
What is the importance of self-esteem in daily life?
The specialist points out that “the same happens in interpersonal relationships, since not trusting you, what you are and what you are worth, can lead you to substance abuse, a dependent relationship, to suffer anxiety, to be involved in an emotional blackmail or even lead to depression or some kind of psychological disorder . ”
If you have low self-esteem, you risk staying with someone who does not make you happy or who abuses you in some way. And, from experience I tell you, get out of a toxic relationship in which you feel less or think you cannot have something better, it can seem impossible and the problem starts thinking that there is something wrong in one, some defect (or many) that you cannot change and therefore you deserve what you have.
It is not wrong to ask for help!
A low self-esteem can impact in different areas of your life, so if you do not feel that confidence in what you are and what you are worth, if you doubt yourself, if you miss work opportunities because you do not feel capable or allow some kind of abuse in your personal relationships. Maybe it’s time to seek help.
The importance of self-esteem is very high. It is a commitment to seek, know and accept you. If you detect an area that you can improve or in which you do not walk well, a psychologist can help you strengthen it. You will see that once the goal is reached, the results will be palpable at all levels and situations. Health also involves emotions, taking care of them will make you feel better and more determined to face the new day.